Let’s Hold Hands And Sing (Guest Post by Rev. Juan C. Rivera)

*The opinions expressed in this article, regardless of how true they might be, or how many sources they are based on, are solely and exclusively of the writer. Most likely all his sources are misinterpreted, misquoted, or probably plain wrong, because things just CAN’T be that bad! Right?

Come oh Spring, when trees begin to green and morning birds sing! I love Spring! I especially enjoy the brisk evening air and staring at the stars! In the years we lived in Romulus, we especially enjoyed making campfires in our backyard and roasting marshmallows and singing “Kumbayah!” with family and friends…that is, until the new “Open Burning” regulations were mandated in 2009. After that we started a few fires…but not without some “fiery” conversations between Liz and I. She was concerned we could get in trouble if a neighbor thought our fire exceeded the 3 Ft. maximum height mandated in the new regulations. So I stopped making fires. Some would say that was a small price to pay for the benefit of Mother Earth. I still wonder…

It’s snowing outside…storm Nemo is throwing some of that white stuff on my driveway, which I’ve shoveled a few times. Ah, since I’ve burned a few extra calories today, it gave me an excuse to eat a few extra dates…yummy! I picked up some wood Mr. Harold saved for my fireplace…thanks Harold! Now I can save some money on my energy bill. Which reminds me, if I lived in Naperville, Illinois, I wouldn’t have to worry about it because the government would install a “smart meter” in my house.

This would assure that I use only a certain amount of wattage…whatever the government decides. The town would assure the installation of such a device by sending the police to escort the installers and make sure I wouldn’t interfere. If I did, they would arrest me like they did with Jennifer Stahl of Naperville, Illinois, who asked the police if they had a warrant for trespassing on her property, and got handcuffed for it. But that’s in Illinois…we shouldn’t worry about it. Right?

It could be worse! You could be living in Florida where the Police will have random checkpoints in order to check for bald tires, defective breaks, tail-lights and other pesky car problems you might not be aware of- and give you a nice ticket to remind you to fix it. I’m not sure if they’re checking for oil leaks yet, but I’m sure that’s next on the agenda. But hey, it could be worse! At least they’re not pulling people over and performing on the spot cavity checks, like the Texas trooper did to the two women in Dallas. But of course…we’re in New York…that would NEVER happen here…right?

Ah, then we have the Albany geniuses that want us to believe that 7 rounds in a magazine are “safer” than 10. Now all those law-abiding citizens who have old, high-capacity magazines have a year to get rid of them, or they become criminals. Suddenly a pistol grip on a 12-gauge, pump-action shotgun makes it into an “assault” weapon that has to be registered. We’re also supposed to believe that the 2nd Amendment of the Bill of Rights is about deer hunting, and that 75-year-old men getting background checks every time they purchase ammunition for “duck hunting” will definitely prevent the bad guys from harming others.

Ah, then there’s the comedian Chris Rock who in support of the Feinstein Assault Weapon’s ban seriously said in a press conference that the President and his wife are like our Father and Mother…and so therefore we should support them in what they want because they, like the good parents that they are, somehow know better. Rock also said that the President is the “Boss of America.”

Somehow I don’t think my grandmother and mother learned that lesson in their citizenship class 45 years ago…must be part of the new curriculum. Can somebody help me? I still can’t wrap my head around this one…I’m sure the fluoridated Syracuse water I’m drinking has nothing to do with it!

Ah, but at least I have nothing to fear but fear itself…thanks to the 30,000 drones that will be flying our friendly skies by 2015 (for friendly reasons, of course). As a born American citizen, I only have to worry about getting “droned to kingdom come” without due process if I am overseas.

Well, I think I feel comforted to know that regardless of what the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA) says, the President promised he would never implement it. Then again, he also said he would never sign it. Whoah! Didn’t the President just sign it again for 2013?? When love covers a multitude of sins…YES WE CAN!

Then of course there’s the HHS Mandate, also known by friends and foes as “Obamacare.” Since it is mandated as a “TAX” through the IRS, an average family of 5 (2 adults and 3 children) will have to pay an annual premium of $20,000.00 a year for the cheapest option. Of course…the HHS Mandate “compromise” still violates the religious conscience of America…but what do we Pastors, Priests, Deacons, Bishops and Laypeople of most denominations know about religious conscience anyway? That’s why we have a government- to tell us what the dictates of our conscience should be and how we should interpret the Bible, right?

Never mind that food prices CONTINUE to soar and that by mid-2013, all meats, dairy and cereals will be considerably higher due to a number of natural anomalies. But no need to fear! The price of PORK will continue to go down because the farmers can no longer afford the corn they need to feed their pigs! So they’re selling them as quickly and cheaply as possible. I hope you like pork chops and sausage! Yum, yum!

Ah, then there’s the gift of 200 M1 Abrams Tanks and 16 F-16 Fighter Jets to the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt. This in spite of all the anti-American and anti-Israeli rhetoric by Egyptian President Muhammad Morsi. Nevermind that Morsi has repeatedly called the Jews “descendants of Apes and Pigs.” I guess he was only kidding.

Then we have all those “conspiracy theorists” that claim there’s something fishy about DHS purchasing an extra 21.6 million hollow-point rounds in addition to their 2 billion, BILLION stockpile while the Obama administration seeks to disarm the American populace of their “assault” rifles. I’m pretty sure that since the Geneva Convention prohibits the use of hollow-point ammunition, that DHS is buying them for target practice…right? So let me say with all the sarcasm that I can possibly muster:

“I’m pretty sure things will continue as they are and that we have absolutely NOTHING to be concerned about. There have always been problems of this magnitude in America…right? So why worry? Ultimately our lives are in God’s hands…so why be concerned for the present state of America? Right?”

So, let me end by saying how although I’ve never been to Argentina- I recently bought a pack of Mate Tea and that I’m looking forward to drinking some of that later in front of the fire in my living room. I’ve also been trying different Middle Eastern cuisines. I seem to have become addicted to Zataa’r- roasted thyme with sesame seeds and other spices. You dip some pita in virgin olive oil and then dip it in the Zataa’r…it’s heavenly!

I’m also looking forward to trying Christopher Walken’s recipe for scallops orange mélange, a side arugula salad with braciole and a little red wine to wash down the blue pill…and best of all, I will hold hands with my wife as we sit by the fire and sing- “Kumbayah!” with a smile, trying to believe that everything will be ok.

Note from Dean Garrison: Rev. Juan Rivera submitted this to me in the form of a serious research project. All statements are factual and were footnoted. Unfortunately we lost some of the formatting when pasting the article to The D.C. Clothesline, but I do want to include the Reverend’s sources below so you can check them out if you feel the need for further research. Thank You Reverend for another outstanding submission.

About Dean Garrison

Dean Garrison is a husband and father of six, who faithfully pursues the American Dream. He has been MOSTLY self-employed for the last 20+ years and has been a top earner, executive and leader for several direct sales companies.
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3 Responses to Let’s Hold Hands And Sing (Guest Post by Rev. Juan C. Rivera)

  1. Bret says:

    As a Floridian, please allow me to assure you that the actions of the FHP are justifiable and legal. You will not find the FHP using this as an opportunity to violate anyones rights. The Florida Highway Patrol and specifically Troop C (Tampa, My area, where I live), Do not ask people ro open trunks or locked glove boxes. Nor will they enter or search a vehicle without probable cause. What you may find them doing is shining a flash light into both the front and rear windows, which is ofcourse legal.

    Before you presume to damn the FHP for this. You havent the foggiest about Florida law. When you yanks come here, remember unless a sign is posted, you can turn on red. The inside lane is the fast lane and we will run your ass over @ 95mph in a 65mph zone. You must be careful, as most of us do not have car insurance nor valid.drivers licences. We will total a car and walk off through the cow pasture before the cops arrive.

    That is why FHP has check points up. So they can catch the bad guys before they do just that…

    You see, when you come visit mickey mouse with your grand kids or honeymoon to key west or come to Tampa on a business trip. Your surrounded by us local assholes. We will ride your ass, rip off your bumper in our over sized trucks then put your trunk under our front bumper because that Silverado with the plate that went out in 2011, is six feet off the ground. Because thats how we.do it in Dixie.

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